Healthy Marriage Initiatives (HMI’s) across the country are bringing relationship skills to couples through the MML Series of Relationship Enhancement programs, literally from Maine to California, Florida to Montana. Many of these HMI’s are partially funded through federal grants through ACF’s Building Strong Families, or Community Healthy Marriage Initiative, or Fatherhood projects. Some are funded through ORR’s Refugee Healthy Marriage Initiatives.  Many efforts are funded by the people in communities who see the value of strengthening marriage and supporting commitment of parents to their children.

The MML Series of programs (Mastering the Mysteries of Love, Love’s Cradle, Mastering the Magic of Love–with more to come) provides an inexpensive, effective, comprehensive program for HMI’s. MML materials are available for $7 per couple when you buy enough for 100 couples. A train-the-trainer self-sufficiency model enables a community to be self-sufficient (providing their own leadership training) within a year of first teaching MML.

Now, communities who have no grant funding and no currently active MML Trainers nearby can apply to our One in A Million Campaign for assistance to get RE programs started in your area.

And therapists, trained in RE or MML programs, can add on RE therapy training to become a Relationship Enhancement therapist.

How IDEALS Works with Marriage Initiatives

The RE model says that successful problem solving and collaborative relationships depend on (1) understanding  and mutual respect (2) skillful, honest expression (3) dialogues that go deeper than surface issues  (4) agreements that work for everyone–with details mapped out (5) people working together to follow through.

IDEALS applies this model to our work with Healthy Marriage Initiatives as well as couples or families.

The first task is to understand the needs of your local program.

From working with about 40 local programs in the past two years, we have responded to these commonly  expressed needs:

Need:           Quality, inexpensive materials

Response:    All materials $10 per couple or less

Mastering the Mysteries Couple Books $7-$10 per couple

Quantity discounts for 100, 500, 1000 or more

Need:            Quality, inexpensive training

Response:      Training in any MML program is available at reasonable costs

$4500 for a 3 day training for areas where MML is totally new

$3000 for a 2 day training where you have taught the program

$1500 for a 10 hr training for therapists who already know RE skills

Coming Soon:  3 hr video based add-on trainings for Love’s Cradle and Ready for Love

One MML training enables you to use any of the MML programs

Need:             Quality Self-Sufficiency

Response:        IDEALS Train-the-Trainer Model provides a careful collaboration over a year’s time for those around the

country who want to be able to maintain self-sufficiency in their communities.  See Certification below.

Certification is available for both fees and barter for services to IDEALS.  Details in Certification.

Need:                Ethnic, Cultural, and Educational Sensitivity

Response:       Current videos available with Hispanic, African-American, and Caucasian couples.

Latino Review Council: By July, 2008 full translation of MML into Spanish

African-American, Hispanic, and Caucasian Trainers of Leaders

New videos by July, 2008 that feature married couples over the lifespan

Current videos feature unmarried couples with a baby

Work with Korean community to develop materials and Trainers of Leaders in Korean

Work with USCRI to provide Trainers of Leaders for Refugee Groups

Mastering the Magic and Love’s Cradle written at a 5th grade level

Mastering the Mystery written at a 6th grade level

Learning of all content includes activities for auditory, visual, and kinesthetic learners

Need:                Individual adaptations to particular communities or grants

Response:        With each program we work out what will work for you.  This may include:

•                            Special materials that match local needs (Social marketing, phrasing, books)
•                            Training organized  to  work with  local  domestic violence or  program  needs
•                            On-site  or telephone consulting
•                            Local leaders as co-trainers as part of Train-the-Trainer
•                            Bridgeline consulting, technical assistance, and supervision
•                            What might best meet individual project needs

Need:               Assistance with Marketing, Pre and Post Measures, and Community Collaboration

Response:        Formation of project director bridgeline groups (MML, Love’s Cradle, Hispanic at present)

Resource sharing among projects

Development of an Implementation Resource Book through 2008

This book, created by bridgeline groups, will share successes among MML projects

The second task is to express ourselves with skill and honesty.

We at IDEALS value HMI’s, grantors, and couples.  We are excited about what we can do together.   We believe that the RE skills in MML programs teach couples how to love.  We believe that when those who teach MML skills use the skills in their own relationships, it makes a profound difference.  We believe that the RE skills educate hearts and transform relationships.  We love what we do!

Because of these strong beliefs there are some things we expect of those who work with us.  These include:

While we encourage you to take a part of MML to use for a short program, we ask that you say this is “from MML” and not that it “is” MML.  In order to offer MML, you need to offer at least 8 hr and preferably the entire program.

IDEALS does not grant licensing agreements for MML.  We expect that you will purchase materials from us.  We do grant permission to copy selected pages from materials when those are used as part of a short program.

We want you to give us your input about adaptations you make.  We want you to tell us what doesn’t work for you.  Since MML was first released in 2004, over 200 changes have been made in the program–all because of feedback from those who teach it.  Share your experiences with us.  We want everyone to have access to what you learn.

We expect people to teach the program as it makes sense to them.  What we ask is that you identify ANY and ALL changes you make to the curriculum as it relates to teaching of the skills as YOURS unless/until they are incorporated into the larger program.  If you are doing research or evaluation, we ask that you note that in any research reports.  This does not extend to different examples, order of teaching the skills, or anything like that.  It does extend to moving from a practice to a lecture based program, leaving out or changing the content of any of the skills, or substantially shortening the program.  If in doubt, ask (mary@skillswork.org)

Dialogue and Problem Solving

If you are interested in bringing MML to your community, contact Mary Ortwein at mary@skillswork.org or 502-227-0055.  We will want to find out about your project, your hopes and dreams.

We want to hear from HMI’s who don’t have grant funding, as well as those who do.  Our One in a Million Campaign  can aid HMI’s who lack funding.  IDEALS is a non-profit.  We put all our resources back into our work.  Funding from trainings in 2007 is available to help HMI’s in 2008 who want to start MML projects and lack resources.

Follow Through

How much interaction IDEALS has with you after you begin your MML work is up to you.   Some projects contact us regularly–asking questions, sharing success and challenge stories, participating in bridgelines, active in AFREM.  Others quietly go about doing their work.

IDEALS checks with projects once or twice a year.  Otherwise how closely we work together depends on you.  We are happy to stay in your communication loop.  We trust that you can do it on your own.  It’s up to you.

IDEALS is available, however, if you need us.

IDEALS does more than provide materials for programs who use MML.

IDEALS of Kentucky provides training and supervision toward certification to Marriage Initiatives who wish to implement Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE in their community and develop train-the-trainer capacity to train and supervise new program leaders at the local level.

IDEALS of Kentucky, as part of IDEAlS/NIRE, is committed to helping local community organizations and Healthy Marriage Initiatives develop local capacity to become self-sufficient in their ability to train new people to lead various formats of the Relationship Enhancement® (RE) Program, including Mastering the Magic of Love and Love’s Cradle. Through its “Community Self-Sufficiency Model”, local communities are able to train new program leaders on their own, thereby increasing the likelihood that RE Programs will continue to be offered on a long-term basis.

No on-going licensing fees are required between the local organization and IDEALS/NIRE in order to put this capacity building model into place. The only requirement is an agreement (to be included in the original contract to organize the initial Mastering the Magic/Love’s Cradle RE Leadership Training workshop) that individuals trained and certified to lead the programs and leadership trainings continue to purchase Couple Packets and Leader’s Guides for leader-trainees and program participants whenever the programs and leadership training workshops are offered. These materials can be purchased from IDEALS at up to a 20% discount for bulk purchases.

The Process for Building Community Self-Sufficiency in Training New Mastering the Magic of Love and Love’s Cradle RE Leaders

Building local capacity to become self-sufficient in the training of new Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE leaders involves a three phase process. This process is designed to ensure quality control. There are four phases to this program.

Phase 1: Becoming an Authorized Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE Program Leader

Phase 2: Become a Certified Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE Program Leader.

Phase 3: Become a Certified Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE Program Instructor

To develop self-sufficiency each community should identify 1-3 people who have been certified as Program Leaders to become certified as a Program Instructor. When a community has at least one person who has completed this process the community is self-sufficient.

At the point at which a community has at least one person who has completed these requirements in Love’s Cradle RE and in Mastering the Magic of Love RE, that community is now self-sufficient for the purpose of training new authorized Program Leaders.

Phase 4: Become a Certified Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle Supervisor.

Phase 4 moves beyond community self-sufficiency to the highest level of local leadership. Those who have been certified as Leadership Instructors may want to become a Certified Program Supervisor. This is especially helpful (and easy) for those who supervise and train staff in an agency which is using Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE as part of an intervention program. It is also easy and tremendously helpful within Marriage Initiatives who wish to sustain a high level of competency and interest in ever-widening circles of influence throughout the community. Just as all RE programs are learned by coached practice of the skills, so presenting any RE program is best learned via supervised practice. If you can make this supervision available in your community or at your agency, you can maintain the highest level of program quality for years to come while containing costs.

To become an approved Supervisor in Love’s Cradle RE or Mastering the Magic RE, work with an approved IDEALS/NIRE supervisor for an additional 26 hours. One half of this supervision may be telephone discussion-consultation. The other half would center on live or video observation of your supervision of others. As a local supervisor you can help others become Certified Program Leaders and recommend anyone who might like to become a Program Instructor. Having this level of local competency insures self-sufficiency for years to come.

IDEALS/NIRE Faculty Status

Certified supervisors who have worked effectively over time in their own community leading Mastering the Magic of Love RE or Love’s Cradle RE programs, conducting leader training workshops and supervising leader-candidates may be invited to join the IDEALS/NIRE faculty. Faculty status is by invitation and opens up the potential to be invited to participate in trainings nationwide as a Masster Trainer, as well as the ability to supervise and certify new instructor candidates and supervisor candidates.

Costs Associated with Each Phase of the Local Capacity Building Process

Fee structures for each phase of the program are available by contacting mary@skillswork.org.

Fees include Leader Fees, materials, and travel costs for an initial training in your community, fees for supervision, costs associated with giving your local Instructor opportunities to provide program leadership, and certification application fees.