Mastering the Magic of Love is a 16 to 20 hour relationship skills program for couples. It includes ALL of the concepts and skills of the traditional Relationship Enhancement® Program. Created as a result of a sub-contract with Mathematica Policy Research for ACF’s Building Strong Families Initiative, the difference is in how RE is taught.

Mastering the Magic of Love uses ordinary words and step-by-step directions for the 10 RE skills. Participant materials are written on a 5th grade level. Group instruction includes new group discussions, audio-visuals, and practice activities that keep both reluctant and traditional learners engaged.

The Difference RE Makes

Relationship Enhancement® Programs give couples experiences in deep intimacy–even in the heart of conflict–while teaching them tools to make problem solutions LAST. During the program couples work through core problems via extended couple dialogues. At the end of the course they have worked out 3-5 problems and have learned how to put and keep honesty, compassion, empathy and trust in their relationship.

Evidence Based

The Relationship Enhancement® Program has over 35 years of research behind it with 27 studies of effectiveness. It has been shown to be effective when there are serious problems, such as infidelity, chemical dependency, or mental illness. A full bibliography of RE literature is available in the References section of this web site (button at the top of the page).

Designed for Grant Populations

Mastering the Magic of Love is designed for grant populations. Many of the video examples center on issues of unmarried parents around the time of the birth of their child, which makes it especially appropriate for child support enforcement programs. It is also appropriate for TANF based programs, refugee resettlement programs, court or social service referral programs, faith-based programs, and other initiatives that seek to bring relationship skills to those whose lives can be changed by learning them.

In its weekly format, Mastering the Magic of Love uses a spiral learning process that repeats and builds on concepts. If a couple misses a session, they can catch up. If a person doesn’t “get it” the first time around, there is another opportunity. For easy-reading, materials written are written at a 5th grade level. For those groups with lesser skills, the reading can be eliminated, since the greatest part of the learning takes place by demonstration and supervised practice.

This hands on, activity-based, repetitive learning process with the built-in reinforcement of experiences that enable couples to take home good feelings and solutions to problems encourages couples to come back again and again to learn skills and solve problems.

Also Great for Traditional Marriage Education groups

During the first year of use we have learned that traditional marriage enrichment couples also thoroughly enjoy Mastering the Magic of Love. A repeated comment is, “I never learned anything so simple, yet so profound.” The simple language and action learning activities serve the needs of traditional marriage education couples who attend week-end or weekly marriage enrichment programs.

This combination of serving the needs of low-education participants AND traditional couples makes Mastering the Magic of Love a great program for Marriage Initiatives. The same program can serve the needs of a broad spectrum of your community. Mentor couples can be trained in Mastering the Magic to enrich their own lives AND to serve as models and mentors for couples served through grant funding. Mastering the Magic of Love can help EVERYONE in your community build couple skills.

NOTE: An additional Instructional video showing multi-age, multi-ethnic married couples will be available in early 2007.

Cultural Sensitivity

Because RE is a program of the deep heart, and people’s deep hearts all want to give and receive the same love, RE is readily adaptable within various communities and cultures. In addition, consultants from the Latino, African-American, inner city, and rural communities have assisted with the development of Mastering the Magic of Love. Videos depict African-American, Latino, and Caucasian couples. An ongoing development and review process permits and encourages cultural adaptations for the needs of specific communities.

Spanish Materials

Participant materials, instructional video, and demonstration videos are available in Spanish. The Mastering the Magic Program is being used successfully with Hispanic populations in California.

Free Ongoing Support for Your Work

IDEALS provides several forms of free ongoing support. Those who are using the Mastering the Magic Program may participate in free bi-weekly bridge call supervision with Mary Ortwein. Up to 6 of these calls may count toward RE Program Leader Certification. These calls are currently held on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month at 1:00 pm Eastern time. Contact mary@skillswork.org for call-in information. This will be an opportunity to ask questions, compare notes, give and get suggestions, and refine techniques. The only cost for this service is the cost of your long distance call. E-mail assistance and support without charge is available from mary@skillswork.org. Email newsletters from the Association for Filial and Relationship Enhancement® Methods (AFREM) provide ongoing information about developments, the people of RE, and opportunities for additional training and support.

A Program to Build Community Capacity and Independence

One of the characteristics of all Relationship Enhancement® Programs is our model for building capacity in your community. This model includes a train-the-trainer track which enables your community to identify and train 2-3 local people to do your own RE training and supervision/consultants. Within as little as a year’s time, you can be doing your own leader training without the expense of out-of-town speakers or consultants. You can minimize expense as you train new marriage educators yourself. Along the way, IDEALS is happy to provide local training, supervision, and consulting for reasonable fees. While you need to purchase materials from IDEALS, no license agreement is required. For additional information about capacity building, click here.

Weekly Session or Day-long Format

Mastering the Magic of Love is written in 20 fifty minute segments. These can be delivered as 10 two hour evening sessions, as three one-day workshops, or as a combination of all day and weekly sessions. While the materials and programs are specifically designed for lower income, less educated couples, the materials and process can be easily adapted to more educated, higher income couples to provide a spectrum of programs for your community. The traditional RE Program provides additional materials and content you can use when the additional reading and content are appropriate.

Parallel Therapy Program Also Available

Many couples who attend relationship skills programs or marriage enrichment programs are in trouble. Sometimes increasing skills is not enough, and the couple goes on to couple therapy. The skills work done in marriage education can be undone if therapists diminish, rather than build on skills learned. Relationship Enhancement® provides a second tier of support for couples through its Relationship Enhancement® therapy track. This track includes an Internet listing of RE trained therapists, a 3-day training program for therapists, manuals and other client materials, audio-visuals, supervision toward certification as an RE therapist, and Rob Scuka’s recent book, Relationship Enhancement Therapy: Healing through Deep Empathy and Couple Dialogue.

Additional Modules from Love’s Cradle

Once couples have learned the basic RE skills, four other 6 to 8 hour modules are available that combine RE with four serious problem areas for grant populations: Managing Money, Building Trust, Working with “Ex’s” and Extended Family, and Considering Marriage. Each of these modules was developed through a Mathematica contract for ACF’s Building Strong Families Initiative. These modules can be done in a day or over 3 or 4 weekly sessions. They consist of experiential learning group activities combined with extended RE dialogues. During each program couples can talk through and resolve one serious problem in that area. A one-day add-on training to Mastering the Magic of Love enables you to present these programs in your community as needed.

Mastering the Magic of Love includes:

• A couple pack with 10 four-page RE skill handouts and 20 activity handouts
• A Leader’s Guide with detailed, easy-to-read instructions for volunteer or professional leaders
• An instructional video with RE skill demonstrations
• Dialogue videos that demonstrate how RE can solve ordinary and difficult problems
• Powerpoint presentation and other teaching aids
• Optional add-on sessions that help couples work through issues of trust, considering marriage, relationships with “ex’s” and other family members, adjusting to a child, and managing finances
• For a full description of Mastering the Magic materials, samples, and ordering information, click here

Training

For training in Mastering the Magic of Love: An Easy-Reading Relationship Enhancement Program for Couples, click here.