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Overview
Mastering the Mysteries of Love: A Relationship Enhancement® Program for Couples is a 16-18 hour relationship skills program for couples. It includes ALL of the concepts and skills of the traditional Relationship Enhancement® Program in the activity-based learning style of Love’s Cradle RE and Mastering the Magic of Love RE. Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE was created specifically to teach couples in stable relationships how to use the RE skills to deepen their love by forming new habits while solving current marital issues. The program is especially suited to community Healthy Marriage Initiative programs led by volunteers.
Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE uses ordinary words and step-by-step directions for the 10 RE skills. Participant materials are written simply-like Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea -yet with a deep respect for every reader. Group instruction includes group discussions, audio-visuals (DVD or role play), and practice activities that keep both reluctant and highly motivated learners engaged.
The Difference RE Makes
Relationship Enhancement® Programs give couples experiences in deep intimacy-even in the heart of conflict-while teaching them tools to make problem solutions LAST. During the program couples work through issues via extended couple dialogues. At the end of the course they have worked out 3-4 problems and have learned how to put and keep honesty, compassion, empathy, and trust in their relationship.
Evidence-Based
The Relationship Enhancement® Program was developed by Dr. Bernard Guerney, Jr. and his colleagues at Pennsylvania State University. It has almost 40 years of research behind it with 27 studies of effectiveness. It has been shown to be effective even when there are serious problems, such as infidelity, chemical dependency, or mental illness. Repeated research studies show RE is effective both immediately and over time at changing how couples communicate and at increasing satisfaction with the relationship. Bibliography is included in the references section.
Easy and Fun to Teach
Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE is easy and fun to teach. “Lectures” are minimal because this is a course where participants learn by doing. Once a facilitator can use the skills in his or her own life, teaching them is easy. Each segment is organized with simple layout and directions for presenting, demonstrating, and helping participants practice. Each participant couple receives a participant book. Practice exercises are contained in the book. Videos and other learning aids are available from IDEALS to make preparation and teaching easy. Moreover, as you implement the skills in your own relationships, you are likely to discover that teaching MML is one of the best choices you have made.
Weekly Session or Day-long Format
Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE can be presented as 8 evening sessions, as a One Day Program plus 4 evening sessions, or as a Two Day program.
The MML Series in the Relationship Enhancement® Family
Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE is part of a series of programs based around the same core content (and thus based on the same training). The core content is a simple presentation of the 10 Relationship Enhancement® Skills written by Bernard Guerney, Jr. and Mary Ortwein in response to a request from Mathematica Policy Research and the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) to adapt the presentation of the Relationship Enhancement® Program to meet the needs of unmarried couples around the time of the birth of their child. The original program, Love’s Cradle RE, is one of the curricula approved for the ACF longitudinal research project, Building Strong Families. This program is part of that study and is used by around 20 other federally funded Healthy Marriage Initiative (HMI) projects around the country. Love’s Cradle RE is a 20 hour, 10 week program that teaches the core RE concepts and focuses around issues of new parenthood. It also has four additional components, developed by a panel of collaborators under the leadership of Pamela Wilson, that use the RE skills to help couples talk about the issues of Trust, Marriage, Money, and Relationships. This material, high interest and experiential in format, is available in Love’s Cradle Part II and can be used with any other MML series program to add content and variety. From that project, Mastering the Magic of Love RE was developed to bring Relationship Enhancement® skills to low-education couples. Mastering the Magic of Love RE is a 20 hour, 10 session program. Both Love’s Cradle RE and Mastering the Magic of Love RE are available in handout packets with Leader’s Guides. Participant materials are available in Spanish for both programs.
These MML series of materials join the rest of the RE family to provide a variety of materials to meet the needs of a variety of learners and leaders. The more traditional RE materials are available from the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement (NIRE) in Bethesda, Maryland under the direction of Dr. Rob Scuka. Participant materials and a Leader’s Guide are available for this Relationship Enhancement Program (REP). See www.nire.org for order forms and more information.
NIRE is also the center for training therapists in Relationship Enhancement® therapy. Dr. Scuka’s book, Relationship Enhancement Therapy: Healing Through Deep Empathy and Intimate Dialogue (2005) is available from Routledge Publishers. Training for therapists in RE methods is available from Dr. Scuka and NIRE (www.nire.org) and from approved trainers around the country.
Dr Barry Ginsberg’s Center for Relationships in Doylestown, PA (www.relationshipenhancement.com) is also a source of materials and training in Relationship Enhancement®. Dr. Ginsberg’s Relationship Enhancement Family Therapy develops the concepts of RE for use with families.
There is an equivalent program to develop the skills for parenting and use with young children, Filial Therapy, developed by Drs. Bernard and Louise Guerney. This program is also well-researched and effective. More information about Filial can be found at www.nire.org
Additional titles in the MML series of materials expected in 2008 include:
Ready to Love RE by Mary Ortwein and Bernard Guerney, Jr.-is a 16 hour program that will teach the 10 RE skills to singles and individuals.
ER for Emotions by Mary Ortwein-is a 12 hour program that will supplement other core MML programs to provide additional skills training and practice for those who struggle with anger, fear, or depression in the context of relationships.
Multi-Cultural
MML programs teach relationship skills based on core values of honesty and compassion. As a skills program, rather than a program based on content, MML is easily adaptable to various cultures and ethnicities. Long used in the African-American community, MML is now also actively used in the Latino and Korean communities, several Native-American communities, and a dozen or so refugee communities (through a US Committee for Refugees and Immigrants project). IDEALS welcomes inquiries from other cultures and languages about working together to develop materials and programs sensitive to cultural needs.
Spanish and Korean Materials
Participant materials are currently available in handout form. MML books in Spanish will be available by April, 2008, Instructional video, and demonstration videos are available in Spanish. The Leader’s Guide will be available in Spanish and Spanish speaking Trainers of Leaders will be able to train new program leaders by July, 2008. An Advisory Council of Latinos trained in Relationship Enhancement from various Spanish-speaking cultures reviews and approves all Spanish MML materials.
Korean participant materials and Leader’s Guides are available. Training in Korean through simultaneous translation is available in the Los Angeles area.
California MML Programs and Leadership
Mastering the Mysteries of Love RE has been strongly influenced by the leadership of the California Healthy Marriages Coalitions (CHMC) and the use of MML and RE programs throughout California. MML and RE have been used for marriage education programs in California for several years, beginning with the Orange County Marriage Resource Center grant project in 2003. The “California Crowd” has led the way nationally in testing out ideas for improving the presentations of skills in the MML series. CHMC’s contributions have made MML better for everyone.
Input from MML Leaders
MML is an organic program. Materials, teaching strategies, marketing ideas, and evolution of applications of the RE skills develop as MML Leaders participate in the Circles of Care Program. This new MML program has at least 100 improvements over the version released in 2004. Those improvements came from the input of up-in-front-of-the-class leaders (like you). The RE process of understanding, expression, and shared problem solving serves curriculum development well. Opportunities for new leaders to participate in this constant development are available through Circles of Care described below.
Circles of Care: Free Technical Assistance
IDEALS Circles of Care Program provides several forms of free ongoing Technical Assistance (TA) for new program leaders. This includes regular topical bridgeline calls, web resources, email quick response to questions, and bridgeline work groups for tackling the challenges of relationship education. Support options change from time to time. Visit www.skillswork.org every month or so to keep up with current opportunities. Email newsletters from the Association for Filial and Relationship Enhancement® Methods (AFREM) provide ongoing information about developments, the people of RE, and opportunities for additional training and support.
Circles of Care: Building Community Capacity through Train-the-Trainer Programs
One of the characteristics of all Relationship Enhancement® Programs is our model for building capacity in your community. This model includes a train-the-trainer track which enables your community to identify and train local leaders to do your own MML training. Within as little as a year’s time, you can be doing your own leader training without the expense of out-of-town speakers or consultants. You can minimize expense as you train new marriage educators yourself. Along the way, IDEALS is happy to provide local training, supervision, and consulting for reasonable fees. While you need to purchase materials from IDEALS, no license agreement is required.
New for 2008: Special Opportunities for Communities New to RE
IDEALS has a special program available for communities new to RE programs, the One-in-a-Million Campaign. This project shares the expense of starting MML in a new community with the community. Check out One-in-a-Million under Circles of Care on this website.
Circles of Care: Creating Communities of Caring
In addition to Technical Assistance, Train-the-Trainer, and One-in-a-Million, IDEALS’ Circles of Care Program includes support and models for coordinating the work of social service agencies, faith-based groups, and mental health professionals to create Communities of Caring. Contact mary@skillswork.org for more information.
Therapy Program Also Available
Many couples who attend relationship skills programs or marriage enrichment programs are in trouble. Sometimes increasing skills is not enough, and the couple goes on to couple therapy. The skills work done in marriage education can be undone if therapists diminish, rather than build on skills learned. Relationship Enhancement® provides a second tier of support for couples through its Relationship Enhancement® therapy track. This track includes an internet listing of RE trained therapists (www.relationshipenhancement.org), a 3-day training program for therapists, an add-on one day training for therapists already trained in the MML program, manuals and other client materials, audio-visuals, supervision toward certification as an RE therapist, and Rob Scuka’s recent book, Relationship Enhancement Therapy: Healing through Deep Empathy and Couple Dialogue.
Mastering the Mysteries of Love includes:
A 101 page participant activity book
A Leader’s Guide with detailed, easy-to-read instructions for volunteer or professional leaders
Instructional video with RE skill demonstrations
Powerpoint presentation and other teaching aids.
Optional add-on sessions that help couples work through issues of trust, considering marriage, relationships with “ex’s” and other family members, adjusting to a child, and managing finances.
For More Information or to Discuss Training
Contact Mary Ortwein at 502-227-0055 to discuss how you and members of your community can learn and begin to present any of the programs in the MML series.
The 10 RE SkillsShowing Understanding
Expression
Discussion
Coaching
Conflict Management
Problem Solving
Self-Change
Helping Others Change
Generalization
Maintenance
Core RE Values
Honesty
Compassion
Relationship
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